Frustration - the buzzword

Well, if the title surprised you or shocked you or even got you worried a bit about me, let me clarify I am not frustrated at all. It is just that I get to hear this word more often than not these days. Almost every conversation I have these days with my colleagues in the office tends to end up in tales of frustration and disillusion the other person is facing. I wonder where the source of all this frustration lies!

As far as I can see - and from whatever I get to listen to almost everyday - the sole reason for this frustration is expectations. And in typical Indian fashion we tend to have too many - from everything in our life, rather from life itself. The best example for this has to be our beloved Indian cricket team. The expectations of people from this bunch of 16 guys (and few more who keep popping in and out) reach the sky when they defeat teams like Scotland or Bangladesh, and come shattering down when the perform poorly at an event e.g. the last Word Cup. Why can't we keep it simple and let the team enjoy the game. I agree that winning matters, but does that mean that these players should be crucified when they lose? The point is, when this team performs well, it will win and when it does not, it stands to lose (unless luck is on its side). If we all accept this simple fact, we will all be at peace (including the players) and all the energy that gets wasted as anger and frustration on this matter can well be put to some constructive use. Anyway, how is the frustration of a billion people going to help the team improve its performance?

So, the crunch of the matter is - keep your expectations realistic and you will be happy. This applies to pretty much everything we get frustrated with - career, relationships, money and everything else you can think of. The best thing to follow would be, what is described as Karmayoga (a way to achieve Moksha) in the Gita - Do your job with perfection, but without getting too involved and do not expect anything in return. I know that everyone can not follow this philosophy, but we can go pretty close by keeping our expectations of returns from all kinds of investments very realistic and being patient with everything in life. I have been trying to follow the same, because I am not here to achieve Moksha (I don't even know if that state exists) and I am sure not a single person on the face of this earth is either. It will be almost impossible to find a person in today's world who does not expect anything in return of whatever he does - and I am afraid that is the necessary (but not sufficient) condition for Moksha as per Gita. So, again I am keeping my expectations realistic and not aiming for Moksha. If it happens - well and good - but if it does not, I won't be disappointed.

The bottom line is - I want to be happy in my life, may be much more than I am today - and I am sure everyone does. But I have realised that happiness is not attached to anything in the real world (and I have seen a few examples of that) i.e. thing we want to own or achieve. Our brain attaches them to happiness, because it has been conditioned to think that way through the perceptions of outer world over the years. Achievements in life can only be a source of satisfaction, which does not last long (This is good in a way, because once the satisfaction of an achievement dies down you want to achieve more and that is what we call progress. Our achievements also tend to have a net positive impact on the people around us). Happiness on the other hand is a state of mind, which the fickle human mind tends to associate to seemingly silly things like helping someone out in a problem, being able to share one's grief, sharing a hearty laugh with someone and even accepting a mistake or a blunder you have committed. Why do I think so? Well, if you look at the kind of acts I have described, what we are doing is lifting a load (big or small) off of the other person's mind and that's the definition of happiness for me, when your mind feels light. Mind you, this phenomenon spreads very fast through induction. So, when the other person feels a little happy our mind picks up the notion too and at that moment life seems beautiful!