Music To My Ears!

Now, I am not a person who is hooked on to the "idiot box". In fact, at the accommodation I share with a colleague we have opted not to buy one. And when I do get to watch it over the weekends, I usually settle for a movie channel or a sports channel. I simply can't stand the "masala" news channels and the daily soaps or reality and talent hunt shows which are always on air on the premier channels. There is only one talent hunt show that's an exception -  SaReGaMaPa Little Champs on Zee Marathi. I try my best every Sunday not to miss the repeat telecast of their two weekly episodes, and when that's not possible there's You Tube!

Concept-wise there is nothing different in this show from its counterparts on the other channel or even the Hindi version of the same show. What's different is the presentation and the approach. First, there is no exaggeration unlike the Hindi version, which is full of exaggeration. This gives the show a feel of real "reality" unlike the Hindi version which is all theatrics! Second, the focus is on showcasing the genuine talent of the contestants. Third, the complete setup is very down-to-earth, very Maharashtrian. The kids are treated the way they would be in a typical Maharashtrian household. This - I feel - allows them to ease into every performance, which they would otherwise not be able to do. All this makes the show absolutely enjoyable - at least for me.

Another important factor behind following the show is that it showcases Marathi songs. These kids present all sorts of songs from contemporary (but unheard) to old (and at times unknown or forgotten), from bhaktigeet to lavni, from classical/semi-classical to rock. There are so many songs which I have heard for the first time from one of these kids and then scampered desperately to add them in my collection. Music is an integral part of my daily routine - in the form of my iPoD or iTunes on my Laptop, and I am happy that the share of Marathi music has grown considerably after I started following the show.

These kids play a very important role when it comes to liking the songs. They sing with such prowess that mesmerises you and makes you think, "where would I have been, had I been able to sing like that?". And then you are curious that if the song sung by a kid seemed so wonderful, how would it feel in the original singer's voice. That's what usually leads to the scamper for addition of these song in the collection. And this is the sort of thing that helps me pull through the routine life of weekdays - a very effective stress buster.

All in all, a very good platform to showcase genuine talent. May it finish with a flourish!!!

A (Half) Marathon Effort!

There is a certificate hanging in my cubicle in the office now, that reads "Amit Satarkar completed the Mumbai Half Marathon in 2:31:43". It feels nice to read that line. There are few things in life which give you a sense of accomplishment. This little piece of paper hanging in my cubicle is one such. And that's the official time I took to cover the 21.097 Km route from CST to Worli Naka and back to CST. Not bad for someone who has taken to running just 4 months back, is it?

Personally, this is a very important achievement even though I finished behind a lot of people who were non-athletes like me. It gives me that joy which one gets from succeeding at something one decides to do and pursues with absolute determination. And it was difficult, preparing for it physically and more important, mentally. There were lot of challenges. Getting into the habit of waking up @ 6:00 AM for a jog every alternate day is very tough for someone who is used to waking up at 9:00 AM! Then the project work at office does not allow you to go to bed early. It's only staying determined that can pull you through in such a scenario. And that's the most important thing that has happened to me over the last four months. I have started to understand what they call "dogged determination" and it is helping me stay focused on a project that just does not seem to end!

So, thanks to this Marathon, I at least have one good habit to show now. I wake up early and go for a long jog. The 9 KM run is the most refreshing activity of the day. I am filled with a different sort of energy on the days I jog. I think, it's because the jog doesn't just help clear the lungs but it helps clear the thoughts as well. The thoughts that come to the mind in that one hour in the morning are crystal clear, absolutely free of any clutter. The calm that this one hour gives automatically transcends to all the activities of the day that follow. 

And this non-physical side apart, the run has helped increase my stamina. It's thanks to these jogging sessions that I could manage to run the first 13 Kms of the marathon at a stretch. And I am sure continuing with them will help me cover the remaining 8 Kms as well. So, next year I am not going to part-walk-part-run in the last 8 Kms, but it will be a smooth run of 21 Kms. That's my target for the next year's Marathon and it should help me cut at least half an hour from this year's time.

And how can I end without mentioning the atmosphere on the raceday. There are people lining up on both the sides of the route, totally unknown faces egging you on, handing bottles of water. Your fellow runners urging you to go on, when you want to just stop and give it up. It's a show of hope, when you, those running with you and those watching and clapping for you just hope that you reach the finish line. In a way - at least for non-athletes like me - it mirrors life, because life moves on hope!

And the athletes... this little post is not for them!

And I should sign off now, because the jogging sessions resume tomorrow!

Dil Ki Baat!

It was the eve of friendship day this year when we six friends were in a conference call through the night (4 in India, 1 in UK and 1 in US). It was a wonderful experience which transcended us back to the college through the 5 years that have passed after we left it. We talked a lot of nonsense that made sense only to us and listened to a lot of music, but it's not what we did that night that I am going to talk about. The one topic we discussed at length was - marriage. We discussed it to the extent that one of us - already scouting for candidates - got bored and we had to switch to other things before finally settling on Music. Anyway, marriage is a topic that naturally comes up in almost all conversations we friends have these days. By India standards, we are all "eligible bachelors" and the wickets have just started to fall one after another. The year 2009 promises to be full of weddings and that means opportunities of reunions.

So, on the conference call that day I shared my plan on the same front - that to be committed by the end of next year. Now, does one share these things on a blog? I do. Does one approach this like a project in some corporate organization with firm deadlines? I do. Well, I do not see anything wrong in approaching it that way, particularly when I know what sort of a person I am looking for. To me, the biggest achievement of last five years has been that I have started understanding myself. Personally, I feel understanding how you are is a very difficult thing to do.

I remember reading an article in MaTa (Maharashtra Times), which discussed the things that go on in an Indian household with a girl or a boy eligible to be married off by Indian standards. It mentioned how the family, all sorts of relatives, neighbours, friends to the family and so on start pushing the boy or girl with questions on his or her plans to get married or to check out the prospective candidates they happen know. It then becomes a confusing situation for the boy or girl in question, who can't deny these people outright to avoid loss of goodwill and at the same time can't go ahead with the process as he or she is not sure of what to look for in a life partner. In this sort of a situation, sometimes he or she go ahead with the decision based on the judgement of others and then it becomes a case of chance. Some get lucky and all goes well, but some not so. In the case of the those who do not get lucky enough then, it is not one person to be blamed but the systemic flaw. Now, this is not a case against the system we call "arranged marriage". It can't be, as my parents' marriage of 36 years is a testimony to this very system. But yes, there is a systemic flaw which needs to be avoided carefully in this era of equal rights to boys and girls. I will again go back to the article, which went on to point at a very simple and realistic solution to avoid any adverse impact of the flaw noted on the most important relation a person chooses in life. It simply said that the person in question has to be allowed some space to think and be sure of himself or herself first. When one looks for compatibility, one has to be first assured of what's within him or her because then only can he or she be sure of what qualities the person to be looked for should possess. And this self assurance can not be associated with age, which we in India sometimes get obsessed with. It comes early in life for some and for some it comes a bit late, what's important is that each individual is allowed to determine the age for himself or herself.

That was a bit of digression, albeit required in the context, I feel. I mentioned a sort of deadline I have set for myself. Well, I have taken the first step towards it. Again, does one share these things on a blog? I do. I have popped the question to a girl, who has been my friend for some time now. The answer is awaited, and at this point in time it can either be a Yes or a No - with equal chances. Now, if someone reading this post thinks that this guy is all for what they call a "love marriage", I would not concur for I don't understand the concept itself. First, it is not a wise thing to commit yourself to someone just because you love the person and leave the understanding part for later. For me, this is exactly the opposite of how it should be. You have to first understand the other person, because commitment emanates from understanding and love emanates from commitment. Again, how much time one needs to understand the other will vary for every individual. For a typical Bollywood Hero, it can be one sight, but for me it is considerably longer than that.

Going by my thought process, I am at the second stage of commitment. I understand her, I respect her and I know that's the sort of person compatible to me. She is probably at the first stage of understanding, where one generally is with one's friends. Now, the journey to the third stage is possible if her answer is Yes. And if it is No, I respect it, accept it and move on. Anyway, I feel I am well equipped to tackle the flaw in the proven and established system!

Oops, I missed the Train!

And I am glad I did! I was supposed to board the Pune-bound Indrayani Express @ 5:53 AM on Saturday, but I managed to get up only at 6:30! It was probably the worst possible start I could have given to a day and I was pissed off enough to think of a few things which would have ruined it completely. Thankfully, I did not!

This was a trip I had to plan virtually at the last minute. Till the morning of Friday there was no such plan and by the afternoon I had booked a seat in the AC Chair Car of Indrayani and informed the gang in Pune of my schedule. VP, Ankur and I were scheduled to get together in the evening for dinner and Raja might have joined us too. I had not been able to plan for something to do during the day, but the fact that I missed the train meant I would now have to scramble to get to Pune by other means. And that is one thing I do not like - to do things in an unplanned way. So, I had to quickly decide on Plan B and execute it as well.

All of a sudden, something clicked in my head and I gave a wake up call to Bhushan @ 7 on a Saturday morning. In the next 15 minutes, a Plan B was ready and by 10 o'clock I was Bhushan's place in Airoli. We had planned for a lunch together, after which he would drop me @ Thane/Vashi to catch a bus for Pune. By now, I was feeling much better than I did when I woke up. It's amazing what spending quality time with friends can do for you. For me, every weekend spent with friends provides meaning to the routine of the weekdays that follow. 

So, around 11 o'clock we left for Mulund. On the way, while I waited for Bhushan - who was picking up an errand - I got an unexpected call from Sudhish. And guess what? He was calling from Thane. So, that was a pleasant change in our plan. Instead of two, now there would be three of us enjoying a lunch together. It was my third meeting with Sudhish in just under 2 months. And, I was now really happy that I overslept that day. As a toast to the joy, we had a sumptuous Thali in Rajdhani. Talking to Sudhish is helluva fun, because he enjoys every conversation. His exclamatory Kyaa Baaat Kar Raha Hai!? for any serious/silly fact you share with him is something one can yearn for!

After that wonderful lunch, it was a ride by Sumo from Vashi to Pune for me. In the euphoria of the afternoon, I managed to miss the fact that all buses to Pune would be packed on a Saturday afternoon. Anyway, the couple of hours ride was not that bad. By 6 o'clock VP, Ankur, I and Kirti were sitting @ a table in CCD. After a couple of hours Kirti's place was taken by Vivek - who had been instructed by his mother to come down to Pune. We four kids created some chaos in the childrens' section of a Crossword book shop!!! Don't worry, we were just buying a gift for my nephew. And then we were @ McD to munch some food along with the chatter. 

Overall, an action packed day for me. And I love spending such days, because the high they give me carries me through the next couple of weeks effortlessly. Why wouldn't one enjoy the work on weekdays, when there are such days on weekends always around the corner!!!

(In)Sanity!

That is one quality I will not associate with myself, and I think most of the people who know me well will not attribute it to me as well. I guess, it also does not go with the perception someone will form about me after the first meeting. So, I surprised myself last Wednesday when I accepted Vivek's invitation for River Rafting on Sunday. And I think the surprise was not that I accepted it, but that there were never any second thoughts. It was very clear, I was "Game" for it and it sounded perfectly sane!

That what I had decided to do on Sunday was dubbed as "Insanity" by (who else but) Aai. Now, I expected this reaction but again to my surprise all the rhetoric she gave me did not deter me a bit! I knew then that I was really prepared to nothing but enjoy the experience. So, the plan was charted out and we - the other two being Vivek's colleagues from Axis Bank - were on the road to Kolad on Saturday evening. The ride was wonderful, the Palio strutting along the NH 4 and later on the NH 17. We also managed to take a wrong turn, going towards Alibaug instead of Kolad. But the most memorable patch was the last 10/12 Kms to the Pooja Farm where we had booked a cottage for the night. The road was full of sharp bends, getting narrower as we closed in on the farm and we were tempted to think where the hell are we headed!

When we finally reached the farm and had a look at the cottage all our doubts were put to rest, for the sight was wonderful. You just have to see yourself to experience the same feeling. The cottage - built of all wood over a lake with calm water, made calmer by the darkness and the cool breeze - was a relieving site, such a welcome change from those cramped apartments in Mumbai. A sumptuous dinner was followed by a chatting session sitting on the extensions of wooden planks which formed the flooring of the cottage and extended behind the cottage just enough to accommodate us. We just sat there - our feet hanging loosely over the lake - chatting away, soaking in the cool breeze. We would have spent the entire night that way, but we had the rafting session scheduled for next morning.

As we headed towards the starting point of the rafting session in a brand new TATA Ace passenger vehicle (sorry, could not contain the TATA pride :P), I guess, all of us had a bit of nervous energy flowing through the veins. When we reached the point - a little downstream to the Bhira dam on the Kundalika river - we were informed by the guide for our rafting session that we would have to wait for the siren to sound that precedes the release of water from the dam. Till that time we were free to explore the rocky bed of the river. That gave Vivek a chance to show off his photography skills, as he went on capturing the birds hanging out on the river bed. When the water has flown out, the river bed is a nice place to hang out but when they release the water from the dam, you will hardly get to see any of it!

After more than an hour's wait the siren was finally sounded, and within 10 minutes we were all geared up for the rafting session. Before we lifted the raft - mind you, it is a pretty heavy object, even though made of rubber tubes filled with air - to carry it towards the river - which now had water flowing down the rocks - there were instructions provided by the guide on the rowing commands, safety measures and rescue arrangements! I felt a real jolt of nervousness when the guide mentioned that we were supposed to row the raft through the rapids, sitting on the edge of it!!! That was probably the only moment when I questioned my sanity :). I mean, agreed that we had the life jackets and the helmets on, but to row the raft sitting on the edge was still a crazy thing to do, wasn't it? Add to that the fact that I am not a swimmer and that completes a recipe for potential disaster! Nevertheless, I was back to normalcy once that moment had passed. So, we pushed the raft into the water, boarded it and were all set to go downstream.

And what followed was perhaps the most thrilling experience of my life so far. We moved downstream, attacking the rapids - the places in the river bed where the water flows rapidly due to the rock formations beneath - to avoid getting sucked in, the water splashing on us from all sides as the raft rode the waves. It was an "out of the world" experience for the four of us used to the daily routine of getting to the office desk, working on a PC and dealing with complaining customers. This was an attempt to conquer a challenge thrown by the forces of nature, which did not ask for any of our fancy degrees. All it asked for was power in the arms to use the oars and judgement of the way to traverse. The later was of course provided by our guide, Dipsan - a 23 year old from Nepal - who will probably get you down blindfolded, he knows the route so well! And not only him, but all his peers (there were 4 rafts in all) as well. It was some work of precision, each raft traversing exactly the same way out of the waves. For all of them, Kundalika is much less a challenge than the Himalayas they are used to, but none of them will show disrespect to the forces of nature. I think that is something to learn from - no matter how skilled one is, one can never become greater than the profession. The job has to be done with finesse and precision, every single time.

After about 90 minutes of the thrilling experience, we were into calm waters and everyone was given a free license to jump into the water. Vivek and Parag were too eager to show their swimming prowess and some diving skills as well! Even Sudipto and after initial reluctance even I (both of us non-swimmers) got into the water to test the life jackets :).  After initial jitters I managed to get hold of the technique of staying afloat with a life jacket - mind you, it is quite easy to drown even with the life jacket on. The 20 minutes or so that I was floating in the water was an experience of absolute serenity!

The jury will be out on whether I should have gone for this trip or not, when I go home the next time because I am sure Aai will open the debate again and question my sanity again. For me, things like these are beyond sanity. It is just a matter of following your heart!

Don't Stretch!

Yes, don't strecth too much. Because it hurts, and it hurts really bad. And this is true about every aspect of life I can comprehend of at this point in time. I am just back from a movie titled "Shoot On Sight" which just re-affirmed this truth. And the last two movies I opted for - "Rock On!" and "A Wdnesday" did the same. The aspects of life and the points of view they touched might have been different, but for me all three portrayed this truth.

If "Rock On!" was about how stretching yourself away from your real self, stretching the most important relationships in life almost to the breaking point can destroy the soul of life, then "A Wednesday" was a fictional, but undeniable portrayal of what a common man can resort to when stretched for his patience. "Shoot On Sight" - built on the backdrop of 7/7 London blasts - is again a fictional, but undeniable portrayal of a senior muslim cop who is faced with two sets of people who have stretched their beliefs to two opposite poles. He is faced with a choice between them, but the problem is he can't choose either. You can identify with him - irrespective of whether you are a muslim or not - the same way you can identify with the Mumbaikar in "A Wednesday" (Incidently, both characters get itched in the memory because of Naseeruddin Shah's performance - a coincidence?), irrespective of whether you live in Mumbai or not.

I remember from the science lessons learnt in highschool that as deficiency of essential nutrients like vitamins can hurt the body, so can excessive intake of them. You have to always look for a balance in the diet. If this is is true for the physical health of a human being then same holds true for her mental, emotional, intellectual health also. She needs a balance diet of moral and religious values, faiths, beliefs, emotions and intellect. But an excess of any of these can do equal harm as can the deficiency, and that is the thing to be guarded against, particularly in these trying times.

We live in a world today which is being pulled to various extremes by all kinds of extremists. To me, an extremist is any person who stretches things beyond the healthy limit - in any aspect of life, be it relationships, beliefs, values, behaviors - where it hurts the people around him. The only faith, religion and belief that an extremist follows is that of extremism. We need religions, but religious beliefs can't overide humanity; we need communities, but communal beliefs should not override humanity; we need brilliant individuals to lead people, but no individual can be allowed to overpower humanity.

We say that the world is becoming small every day, getting integrated so closely in this phase of globalization; and yet it seems to be disintegrating at its seam, every day. Do we lack a balance somewhere? Today we have a situation on our hands where there are certain extremist activist groups who are keen on destruction to make an impact, and then there are equally extremist governments who have waged a war aginst these groups and have vowed to destroy them. Amidst all the destruction, the people who have lost the most are those who do not want to identify with either. The situation back home is no different, where the race for power is getting uglier day-by-day. The key issues are swept under the carpet, and the issues which get attention are all manufactured by various players in the game of power. Through all this, the common man has the seemingly impossible job of strikning a balance in his life and he will have to suceed for that is the only hope for survival of humanity.

At the end, a question that keeps popping up in my mind is probably asked in the most profound way in these lines penned by Javedsaab.

Ishwar Allah Tere Jahan Mein, Nafrat Kyon Hai Jung Hai Kyon

Tera Dil To Itna Bada Hai, Insaan Ka Dil Tang Hai Kyon

Kadam Kadam Par Sarhad Kyon Hai, Saari Zameen Jo Teri Hai

Sooraj Ke Phere Karati Hai, Phir Kyon Itni Andheri Hai

Is Duniya Ke Daaman Par, Insaan Ke Lahoo Ka Rang Hai Kyon

Goonj Rahi Kitni Cheekhein, Pyaar Ki Baatein Kaun Sunein

Toot Rahe Hain Kitne Sapne, Inke Tukde Kaun Chunien

Dil Ke Darwaazon Par Taaley, Taalon Par Ye Jang Hai Kyon

Who is John Galt?

He is every one of us who believes in creation, ingenuity, thought, reason, value, workmanship - in essence, who chooses to be a human. After all, don't all these attributes contribute to the "humanness" of a human being? The answer is of course, Yes. After reading Atlas Shrugged the answer has got so well ingrained in my mind, I don't think anything will ever be able to cast a shadow of uncertainty on it.

I have to thank the anonymous reader who recommended it while commenting on one of my older posts. Reading the book is such a blissful experience. Ayn Rand presents the true human values with such clarity and with a multitude of characters that probably sums up the various kinds of people around us. As you read the book and think about the situations unfolding, you can't escape noticing the resemblance they have to the world around. The contexts may vary, but the way people behave in those situations is very similar to the way Rand's characters behave. And I think that is the reason the book grips the mind of its reader. It is a work of fiction, and yet it is so real.

I don't think I have ever thought about my workplace and the people I work with so much as I did while I was reading the book. The situation there is no different. We have those select few who give it their all to make a project successful, without ever thinking about what they are going to gain. Then there are those who always think about how best can they use the success of the project, just by sticking to the real hard workers. Then again there are a few who don't care about the project, don't want to put even the effort of sticking to the propellers, but yet want to reap the rewards. There are a few leaders who will take the credit of every success, and blame the failure on the team and avoid any kind of responsibility. There are few more categories people will fit into. What's interesting is their thought processes match to at least one character in Atlas Shrugged.

As Rand says in the book, life is a matter of choices. What differentiates man from the other animals is his ability to think, but to exercise this ability is a choice every man has to make. Also, to what extent he exercises it will determine the heights he will achieve. So, on one extreme we will have someone who chooses to think and reason, act on his thoughts and do so without exception never letting his decision be based on anything but reason. He will be perfectly in peace with his mind, probably the kind that is described in the Gita and can be achieved by the way of Karma. On the other extreme we will have someone who chooses not to think at all thereby resigning completely to external forces, always in confusion and acting on the other person's reason, thereby never at peace with his mind. Always living in a state of denial, such a man will eventually bring his own downfall.

All of us lie somewhere between these two extremes. Which way we want to move is again a matter of individual choice!

Sprtsmanship!

Hurrah! Abhinav Bindra did the trick. He got that all elusive individual Olympic gold for India. Now, virtually all of India is going ga-ga over it. Well, the guy deserves every bit of praise that's going to come his way, not to forget the rewards (which won't matter to him - he's super rich!). Hold on, I am not going to join the bandwagon and write a testimonial for Bindra here!

It's the other side of this medal which also is going to come into limelight (for a few days, at least), for the umpteenth time and then fade away. You see, public memory is short. And with Indian public it is even shorter, perhaps. Along with the golden moment, we are going to discuss - with an equal fervour - why India has to always look for and be satisfied with this one odd medal? why are we always lagging behind in sports which demand athletic abilities? These discussions will blame the government for not providing world-class facilities to athletes, various sporting bodies for not being able to utilise properly the funds they get, occasionally the athletes for lacking in effort and so on. But the most important factor will yet again remain uncovered (perhaps, knowingly?) - people's support.

As with any other matter, it is very easy to put the blame on the other party in this case too. In reality, we have to ask these questions to ourselves and we will know that the answer lies with us. How many Indians know all the sporting events included in Olympics? How many of us follow any of them closely? Most important, how many parents would want/like their kids to take up any of these and excel? The answers - few, still fewer and very rare - in that order! When that's the case, what right do we have to question the efforts of all those athletes who have failed to make an impact as significant as Bindra. The hard fact remains that the only sport Indian parents would like their kids to take up is Cricket (for obvious reasons), except those rare exceptions like Saina Nehwal's parents. After all, if your kid wants to be a professional athlete he/she stands a better chance with Cricket, isn't it?

Saina got the backing of her parents and of sponsors at a crucial juncture, Sania Mirza and Abhinav Bindra had parental support as well as a sound financial background, but is that the end of India's potential? Certainly not. But to unearth it will need a change in the Indian mindset. There is change in the air, but not enough. Indian parents still find it hard to digest that sports can earn someone a "roji-roti" and more. It would be great if Bindra's gold can contribute to change it and even better if Saina can clinch tomorrow's rubber, for that could be the real shot in the arm as she comes from the typical Indian middle-class background.

Well, I am writing these things here, perfectly aware of what I have written. Because time is going to pose the same question to me somewhere down the line. What stand am I going to take?

Time will tell!!!

Keep It Simple!

I have this friend in office who I have my evening snacks with - daily - except in unavidable circumstances. We met and became friends during the TCS training in HYD. She is one of the few girls I know, who have the capacity of "Level Headed" thinking i.e. thinking without involving emotions - something very difficult for women due to their inherently higher emotional quotient (no offense meant - this higher EQ is what makes women better at relations than men). I think this is the quality that makes our conversations interesting. Otherwise, we are so different as personalities, it would be difficult for a third person to believe that we connect so well!

Well, the topics of our conversations vary from the routine office work to issues on the personal front to our philosophies of life. Today's topic was particularly interesting - although it lasted only for 10 minutes as we had to rush back to our respective desks. The reason our conversation switched to this topic was a phone call I got from a colleague. This guy is severely undecided over a particular matter - not important to mention here. The call just prompted me to ask the question - why do people make matters complicated for themselves? And her reply was very sound.

People just don't want to take any decisions. They do not want to take a decision only to think later that the other option would have been better. That's why they run from pole to post seeking opinions, hoping to meet the person who will take the decision for them. That way, you can at least blame the person who suggested the option in the event it does not work out for you. Smart thinking, eh! Is this the way to secure your life from all the uncertainities that surround it? No wonder, retail investors lose the maximum amount of money when the stock markets fall.

Of course, you can't deny the fact that life is full of uncertainties. But then it is your responsibility to secure and safeguard it against them, not the other guy's - because he is too engrossed in securing his life! So, it's quite likely that you will be doomed, should you decide to depend on the other guy (or guys for that matter). I feel, the best option every human being has is to decide the course of his life and then stand by the decision - come what may. This way - wherever you end - you can at least be at peace that the decisions were yours, the path - chosen by you. This way - I think - triumph will be sweeter and failure will not hurt. Because when you decide to take the ownership of your life, no failure remains capable enough to cause a degree of pain that will defy the sense of pride filled in your heart.

And once life is secured against the pain caused by the sense of helplessness, all that should remain is joy. Sheer joy. The joy of living - on your own terms. Do they tell anything different in "Art of Living"? I don't know and I don't care!

36 and Counting!

Oh, that's the number of years Aai-Baba (my parents) have spent together and the bond has probably grown 36 times stronger! You must have guessed that this is a tribute to them on the occasion of the 36th anniversary of their wedding, and quite rightly so. Of course, it has been a long journey through all kinds of highs and lows, but they have stuck together and they have stuck to life. The vigour they live their lives with just continues to increase with each passing day.

Aai-Baba were probably made for each other, how else can one explain the marriage of two souls living in two very different places, separated by a good 400+ Kms and involving a journey in either direction which takes 8 hours and 3 change overs even today if you choose to take the state transport! And yet these two souls continue to complement each other so nicely. The difference of 7 years in their ages never comes in the way of their understanding of each other. When it comes to rituals, Baba is more conservative and Aai is more liberal, but they always manage to hit a golden middle never trying to sell the other their own view. When it comes to professional life, it is the other way, but the balance is maintained. It is astonishing that they have maintained this balance for so long, without intruding each other's intellectual space. It has to be attributed to their ability to adjust and to adapt - a forte of both.

And that's the only evident commonality one will find in them. And I don't it's this commonality that makes their relationship work. On the contrary, the differences in their personalities have perhaps had more influence on it - differences which are perfectly complimentary. Baba is naturally short tempered (typical of all men in the family), yet the temper seems to have been softened over the years by Aai's infinite capacity to absorb it. She has successfully handled the tempers of three generations (My Grandpa, Baba and me!) and still has the capacity for the next! But then she is super sensitive, her eyes well up every time she has to wave TATA to her grandson (and that's every alternate month!). And Baba has always had to make sure, these emotions do not take their toll on her - his firmness has come in very handy. And these same attribute maintain the charm, though when they are reversed!

Baba has his own ways of getting Aai angry. The best of them - he will disappear from home without notice when the lunch is ready, only to return after an hour or couple, and then calmly bear the brunt of Aai's anger. I don't know if he enjoys it, I certainly have - every time this situation has occurred. He probably likes to take advantage of the fact that Aai's anger is so superficial, absolutely harmless. And then he will give away to her demands very easily, something I have never been able to manage. I remember showing all kinds of tantrums to get silly things from him, and I can't help but laugh at those moments now. But the fact remains that he is not someone who will give in easily, not with Aai though. He won't show it, but he care that bit extra for her. There are many little things like these, which is why the charm refuses to fade away with the passing years.

All I have to say at the end is, if Jodhaa-Akbar's romance in an arranged marriage was a treat to watch on the big screen, that of my parents has not been any less an experience in real life! Cheers to Aai-Baba!!

It is so Simple to be Happy, but so Difficult to be Simple!

A genuine cine-buff, particularly a fan of Hrishida's films, may vividly recall this line from one of his masterpieces - Bawarchi. I watched it yet again this Saturday, I have lost the count of how many times I have watched it. You just can't get bored of watching it. It is one of those films which give a perspective to the life, without ever claiming for it. I wish I could do what Raghu does in the movie, make people aware of the fact that there is much more to life beyond the daily grind!

Hrishida's films are a prime example of "Beauty in Simplicity", and the simplicity comes to the fore in many ways - the plot or theme, the characterization, the sets, the costumes, the music and the message they deliver. They are probably the showcase of human values he strongly believed in. The central characters of Anand, Mili and Bawarchi tell you - "Zindagi jeene ka naam hai". The meaning of life lies not in the grand moment of happiness we are pursuing, but in those millions of tiny moments of pleasure we can get from the smallest of deeds and often choose to ignore. We think, we are fast chasing the life we long for when - in fact - we are running far ahead, loosing sight of those moments of happiness that lie on the sidewalk. All we need to do is slow down and walk in sync with life, gathering all of them and enriching our lives.

Moments of pleasure - when one little act you do brings a smile on someone's face, when the helping hand you provide eases the burden on someone's shoulder, the joy both of you get when you see a friend after a hiatus, the comfort a friend gets just by talking to you in a moment of grief - they give the life its meaning. But hold on, that sounds way too simple and we are not used to anything simple in life. If we were, Hrishida's movies would not have worked. We approach life like a complex riddle, where we have a multitude of variables to take care of, so many aspects of it to worry about, so many material things we long for and attach happiness to. We get so engrossed in solving this riddle of life, we forget it is meant to be enjoyed! It goes just like a song from Anand - "Zindagi kaisi hai paheli haye, Kabhi to hasaaye, Kabhi ye rulaaye!"

And Anand gives you the answer to this riddle too - "Zindagi aur maut uparwaale ke haath mein hai Jahanpanah. Ise na aap badal sakte hain na main. Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputaliyaan hain, jinki dor uparwaale ke haath bandhi hai. Kab, kaun, kaise uthega, koi nahi jaanta!" It is high time we realise this, get our act together and start enjoying life. Let us keep it Simple!!!

For the Love of India

Monday, 3rd March is Founder's Day for us Tata employees. The founder - Jamsetji Nusserwanji Tata - was born 169 years ago on the same day. This man had the capacity to visualise the years beyond his life and what the Tata Group has achieved is testimony to that. It bedazzles you, how he could even think of building a steel plant or a hydroelectric power plant at a time, when India was under foreign rule. Not only that, hardly anyone India had the technical know-how to achieve this. Yet he took it upon himself to find all the experts the task needed to be brought in from outside and get them here regardless of the cost. He did not stop at initiating these two projects, which were to be completed only after his death. He wanted to ensure that there is a steady flow of manpower and talent to sustain the projects, which should come from the locals, fellow Indians. He did not stop at sponsoring deserving students with scholarships but went on to pledged half his wealth towards an institute which would provide the best-in-class technical education to Indian students, within India. This was to materialize into the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore.

And he did not have to do it. He would have been labelled as a successful industrialist even if he had not taken these initiatives, for he had already created two successful textile mills (Empress in Nagpur and Swadeshi in Mumbai). He could have just sat upon the wealth he had amassed and lived peacefully, but he did not do that. He wanted to see India on the path of Industrialization, which he had first seen when he went to England to study. And that has to be the only reason, why he started with these three massive projects at the same time and urged his successors to pursue them, which they did. The result is there for all to see.

Another mark of his thinking is the way he treated people, the most important resource for any industry. This reflects in some of the policies he established for the workers at his mills. That he was a man of principles is evident from the fact that he pumped in his own wealth into the Swadeshi Mills when it was struggling for survival, a huge risk which eventually paid off (This was to be repeated by his son Dorab for the survival of Tata Steel in 1924). R M Lala's biography of Jamsetji Tata traces his life in detail and provides an account of his values and principles. What he did can only inspire you to look beyond your life and think beyond the wealth you want to earn.

I wish, I can do something - based on the same principles and values - as he did, purely For the Love of India.
Amen!

Freedom

Yesterday, I read A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. I read his first book The Kite Runner almost a year back, thanks to my younger brother who recommended it to me. I have to admit that Hosseini's first book almost had me in tears by the time I finished reading it. The second book ends on a rather hopeful note, but barring the last few chapters you will go through the same heart-wrenching experience reading it. Hosseini manages to build on the real backdrop of the devastating three decades of war in Afghanistan, characters which are fictional but linger in the boundary of realm. That is why you feel an emotional connection with the protagonists in both the books. I do not possess the talent to be able to express the actual experience of reading these books in words, so I will leave it at this point.

There is one aspect that of the books which has made me think a lot, that being the situation in Afghanistan. Hosseini puts it in words so effectively that you can actually visualise it. Most of it is true and you might have read the same in a rather mundane fashion in the news reports. Reading about the mass devastation in Afghanistan helped me realize how fortunate I happen to be to have been born in a free nation. People in Afghanistan have been deprived of all the advances the rest of the world has made in the last three decades. The only advancement they have experienced has ironically been in the weapons of mass destruction, which has only aggravated the situation there over the years. In the same period, India has enjoyed democracy and peace at large which has helped her move swiftly on the path of progress. I will admit that there are flaws in the Indian system, but the net outcome of these three decades has been on the positive side and it has to be attributed - at least partially - to the democratic system which has survived for sixty years.

Afghanistan saw lot of restrictions, oppression of human rights - particularly of women in all the years it was at war. The Taliban regimen even gagged the entire media and forced restrictions which were completely inhumane. Can you imagine a man being beaten brutally just because he was not wearing a turban, or was clean shaved, or had a TV set at his home, or missed a prayer, or was carrying/reading a book that was not Koran, or a woman being beaten just because she was wearing jewellery, or was not accompanied by a man on the road? It is astonishing how the people in Afghanistan survived all this brutality. On the other hand, I have enjoyed access to all kinds of media, all the books I wanted to read, pursue a lifestyle I liked (by and large). I can express my views freely on any matter that interests me (again by and large). This has been possible because people have stood against any attempt of enforcing such unjust rules, like in the case of the 1977 emergency. Democracy has helped India build the large middle class it has, which contributes the most towards development in all sectors.

Afghanistan is now back on the democratic path and they will definitely see the fruits if they persist with the system. India has to continue to do the same. Lot of people from the older generations, particularly those who were born before independence, fear that the younger generations take freedom for granted. Well, I fully understand the value of freedom - even more so after reading about Afghanistan - and I know what a privilege it is to live in a free India. I am also confident that a majority of Indian youth thinks the same way. All we have to do is guard against the section of people who target and attack specific communities, attack the fundamental right of freedom of expression. If we can collectively keep them at bay, Indian democracy will never be in trouble.

The scene from Chak De India is still fresh in my mind, where the coach refuses to accept the representation of different states from the players. What he insists on is the representation of India, forgetting the individual states it comprises of. That is what needs to be emulated. Forget about the castes, communities, states and think India.
Freedom has cost us a fortune and we can't let these small issues snatch it from us!

Listen!

That's what you should do when someone is talking to you - listen, and not just that - listen actively. For otherwise you are wasting time - not just your own, but the speaker's too. It then doesn't matter if the conversation is one-to-one or a speech or lecture or a group discussion. What one gains from these interactions is directly proportional to the intensity of listening. It's wonderful if one likes to talk, because that means one has the opportunity to have many such interactions, but it's equally important to allow others to talk and listen to them if there is to be a net positive from every interaction.

Active listening is probably the best tool for gaining knowledge for an average human being. I say that because it is difficult for everyone to be a voracious reader, that's the domain of scholars. They can easily pick up a book on a topic they want to know about and read through it in one go. Not everyone can do this and not everyone knows about everything too. So, if one is not in the class of voracious readers, one has to look for other avenues of gaining knowledge. More often than not, a person can only be very good at or knowledgeable about one or two topics or subjects and has limitations in all other areas. It can then prove very effective if you can get a person to talk about something you want to know but can't take the efforts on your own. Active listening can get people talking.

When you listen, it shows that you respect the thoughts of the speaker and that you are ready to accept them. The intensity of your listening assures the speaker to go on, give away more information than one is willing to. When one listens it makes the other more comfortable with the expression of his thoughts and to pass on more information than has been asked for. When you concentrate on what is being spoken you understand it many times better than you would if you were to read the same stuff.

And there is more to listening than just being a tool to gain knowledge. One's capacities of listening will determine how many people he conncets with. You may wonder how a seemingly passive activity like listening can determine this, but then who said listening is a passive activity. All you have to show when you listen to someone is that you are interested and people will pour their hearts out. When your eyes glow with delight when somebody shares his happiness with you, or when your face is covered with concern when somebody shares his problem with you, that is active listening. If you show that you care about and appreciate whatever the other person has to say you would have made his day.

Nothing would summarize this article better than what the Thought of the Day calendar (probably the silliest thing I have ever bought, and ironically that is what catches everyone's attention on my desk first) on my desk read today. "You can please more people by listening to them than by talking to them"

Baba!

Father - That's what the word means to many children in India, including me. I don't know what prompted me to write about him, probably his 64th birthday on 2nd of February!

What should I write? It is very difficult for a person with limited writing abilities like me to describe my feelings for him. There are a lot of emotions in my mind right now, too many to describe. Whenever I sit back and think about him, my mind fills with a pride, for he is wonderfully likable. He has the uncanny knack of finding a soft spot in the toughtest of cookies, a fine example of which would be his relationship with my Grandfather. It was very difficult to get into the good books of my Grandpa, forget maintaining your place there and yet Baba was always at the top pf it. I never heard my Grandpa complain about him, in fact he was always all praise!

I wonder how he manages to be so likable, to make happy every person he is connceted with, knowing well that there is hardly any chance that the favour will be returned. And I think that's just the essence of it. Baba is always ready to help anyone who know him or asks him. All his gestures are very natural, nothing artificial or fabricated, just to earn a few brownie points. He helps people because he likes to, not because he will later be able to ask for favour in return. Baba may not have earned huge loads of money, but the goodwill that he has earned over the years is keeping him in good stead, and I am sure will continue to do so.

I will not put Baba in the highly educated class, because all he has to show for a degree is a part-time BA. But degrees can't buy wisdom, it has to be present in the system. Testimony to the fact are some far sighted decisions he has taken for us, his family. These decisions gave his three sons the leeway to take more risks than he could, to achieve things he could not. He is open to new ideas, which makes him a good listener and quick learner - qualitites which helped him make an immense impression in his 35 years of service. He can be a calming influence in chaotic situations, for come what may - he won't panic. He is not a control-freak and allows people to make decisions and work the way they want to, just watching from a distance - quality of a good leader, which he was at his workplace, but never had a title to that effect. He has allowed us to choose what we wanted to do with our lives and stood behind all our decisions, for he is supremely confident of the three of us and knows that we live by his values!

Finally, I know that I have troubled him a lot (probably the most) - knowingly and unknowingly - without being scolded for once. I have many such situations, which I won't cite here, for they are the constant reminder of his importance to me. It is getting too late now and I must sleep as I have to resume work at the office in the morning. My workplace is a lot different than Baba's, but his methods still work!!!

Why we are the way we are!

The focus of this article will be a book I finished reading a couple of hours back, although the thoughts are really an amalgamation of four books I have read recently - The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, The Bhagavadgita by S. Radhakrishnan, The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen and Games Indians Play by V. Raghunathan, the book in focus here. These books have given me - iff I dare say so - a very good, if not thorough understanding of why people - specifically we Indians - behave the way do in certain situations. In fact, the book by Raghunathan very effectively explains why we are the way we are!

Raghunathan uses the concepts in Game Theory, prisoner's dilemma and iterative or multi player prisoner's dilemma - the latter being applicable to many real life situations we encounter - to explain the Indianness of us Indians. And what is this Indianness? It is our utter selfishness, our tendency to free ride, our tendency to maximize individual gains at the cost of others' losses, our tolerance towards injustice, corruption & unfair behaviour, our habit of blaming or pointing fingers to others for anything that goes wrong, our ability to talk a lot and inability to act - the list goes on! And yes, we can also be adamant enough not to accept all this or intelligent enough to rationalize this behaviour. You may not believe me, but Raghunathan will make you realize all this using proven tools.

If you have read about Prisoner's Dilemma (PD), you will know that the best solution to it is when both players choose to cooperate. That is the solution which will keep their losses at the minimum, but rational people will sometimes fail to see this! We have very few interactions of this kind in real life though. Real life situations involve many people continuously interacting with many others and that is where the Iterative PD comes in picture. That means one has to decide whether to cooperate with the other or not every time the two are involved in a transaction (which could be as simple as greeting each other), keeping in mind that this situation may occur many times afterwards. This is where one's character comes in play. The best thing to do in this context also, is to continue to cooperate forever and maximise the collective gains instead of giving in to the temptation of short term gains at the cost of hurting the relationship. And it is the latter that we Indians choose to show at all quarters in life owing to the qualities listed below.

We are among the most intelligent people on this planet, yet we fail to recognize the fact that defecting for a small short term gain will hurt our own future. And, we tend to do this a lot more as compared to quite a few communities from both the western and the eastern worlds. We also use our intelligence to work around all the systems we establish for collective good and make them ineffective, instead of concentrating our efforts on maintaining them. At times, our actions are motivated by our desires and sometimes contradict with our duty, yet we do not see anything wrong in them. This book will tell you why we fail to do the right thing, even though we are so intelligent. I feel, every Indian ought to read this and introspect on what needs to be done if we want to see a developed India.

I mentioned three other books at the beginning of this article. Let me establish the connection. The Argumentative Indian has helped me understand the ability of us Indians to argument. Amartya Sen gives a wonderful historical account of our argumentative tradition and shows how it helped India to develop as a secular society, where people with varied faiths and beliefs were allowed to live peacefully. He explains what drives our thinking and does not fail to mention the importance of keeping an open attitude towards the thoughts of others. Had I not read that book before reading Raghunathan's book, I would probably have not accepted his criticism of us Indians so easily. The connect with The Fountainhead is established when Raghunathan shows the importance of making objective decisions i.e ask yourself "am I doing the right thing" before you take any action and act accordingly irrespective of the behaviour of the others. That is what Howard Roark in The Fountainhead is - the epitome of objectivism. Raghunathan also establishes the connection between game theory and the Gita, when he explains how game theory validates the Karmayoga explained in Gita. This book reinforced many of my beliefs formed after reading the Gita.

I have always believed that books have the potential to change the way one thinks. The books I have read have changed my way of thinking steadily over the last couple of years. More thoughts and more books in the posts to follow!

It's Not About the Bike

If you know Lance Armstrong, it will not be difficult to guess what this little snippet will say. This is an attempt to push the readers of this post into reading his autobiography - I won't say review because I do not qualify to be a critic of books!

If you have not heard of Lance or read about him, let me tell you that his is a comeback story beyond the capacity of human imagination. It thrills you, just to think of a guy who came back from the doorstep of death to win seven consecutive editions of Tour De France, probably the most arduous bike (bicycle) race on the face of the earth. Just imagine, a race where 200 cyclists compete over 21 stages, covering 3500 Kilometers of roads in France in all kinds of terrains & weather conditions. And this guy won it for seven consecutive years from 1999 to 2005, as if it was a piece of cake, huh!

And he did this after fighting off Testicular Cancer, which was already in the last stage at the time of diagnosis. Yet, he is not superhuman!

The book starts like any typical autobiography, with the events in Lance's childhood, the sources of all the anger he was filled with, him getting hooked on to Athletics, early achievements in triathlon (involves running, swimming and cycling), and eventually his decision to pursue only cycling. He then describes his entry in professional cycling and early failures - including one at Tour De France. Then comes the rude shock of being diagnosed with cancer and the way he narrates the events, you can actually feel the pain Lance and his family must have been subjected to. You can't help but get inspired by the way he goes through the treatment - cancer being the only disease where the treatment is more painful than the disease itself. And then there's the comeback, the process of getting fit to ride the bike, and then ride it for really long spells at a high cadence. There also comes a stage when he gives up cycling, after going through the frustration of failures in his first attempt at comeback to professional cycling, only to be pulled back into it by a friend who won't give up on him! He describes all this candidly, keeping the reader involved, using a language an average reader will be able to relate to. The book is so fluid in its content, you will want to read on till the last page once you pick it up!

What's noteworthy is Lance's introspection on going through the disease, where he says he learnt a lot from cancer and it changed him for good. He probably would not have achieved success @ the Tour had he not gone through cancer, as it changed both his physical as well as mental make-up. I think it takes some resolve to say that after you have virtually been through hell!

The book gives you an insight on the true value of life. It tells you life is not only for worrying about a 9 to 6 job, a housing loan, marriage, kids and their future and finally retirement! Of course, not all of us can go and compete in the Tour De France, but we can at least find out what matters as much to us!!

Belief

The dictionary says belief is "confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof". Well, here are a few things that - I am confident - do exist.
I believe in myself, perhaps more than I ever did and this belief grows a little everyday.
I believe in people - people I know, I work with, I am related to - in general, people around me. I believe in their ability and so I can trust them - for almost anything.
I believe in patience and in perseverance which helps me focus on my work/duty and forget about everything else.
I believe in God - and yet I don't believe in it - for I think of it as a concept, not something with a physical form. I think of it as the basis of everything that exists, as something that keeps the world order going. I can't restrict it to any of the man-made shrines.
I believe in Love - for I have experienced it through parents, relatives, friends - and yet I am to experience it through that someone, who will be my soul mate for life.
And finally I believe I am going to meet my soul mate - some day very soon!

Frustration - the buzzword

Well, if the title surprised you or shocked you or even got you worried a bit about me, let me clarify I am not frustrated at all. It is just that I get to hear this word more often than not these days. Almost every conversation I have these days with my colleagues in the office tends to end up in tales of frustration and disillusion the other person is facing. I wonder where the source of all this frustration lies!

As far as I can see - and from whatever I get to listen to almost everyday - the sole reason for this frustration is expectations. And in typical Indian fashion we tend to have too many - from everything in our life, rather from life itself. The best example for this has to be our beloved Indian cricket team. The expectations of people from this bunch of 16 guys (and few more who keep popping in and out) reach the sky when they defeat teams like Scotland or Bangladesh, and come shattering down when the perform poorly at an event e.g. the last Word Cup. Why can't we keep it simple and let the team enjoy the game. I agree that winning matters, but does that mean that these players should be crucified when they lose? The point is, when this team performs well, it will win and when it does not, it stands to lose (unless luck is on its side). If we all accept this simple fact, we will all be at peace (including the players) and all the energy that gets wasted as anger and frustration on this matter can well be put to some constructive use. Anyway, how is the frustration of a billion people going to help the team improve its performance?

So, the crunch of the matter is - keep your expectations realistic and you will be happy. This applies to pretty much everything we get frustrated with - career, relationships, money and everything else you can think of. The best thing to follow would be, what is described as Karmayoga (a way to achieve Moksha) in the Gita - Do your job with perfection, but without getting too involved and do not expect anything in return. I know that everyone can not follow this philosophy, but we can go pretty close by keeping our expectations of returns from all kinds of investments very realistic and being patient with everything in life. I have been trying to follow the same, because I am not here to achieve Moksha (I don't even know if that state exists) and I am sure not a single person on the face of this earth is either. It will be almost impossible to find a person in today's world who does not expect anything in return of whatever he does - and I am afraid that is the necessary (but not sufficient) condition for Moksha as per Gita. So, again I am keeping my expectations realistic and not aiming for Moksha. If it happens - well and good - but if it does not, I won't be disappointed.

The bottom line is - I want to be happy in my life, may be much more than I am today - and I am sure everyone does. But I have realised that happiness is not attached to anything in the real world (and I have seen a few examples of that) i.e. thing we want to own or achieve. Our brain attaches them to happiness, because it has been conditioned to think that way through the perceptions of outer world over the years. Achievements in life can only be a source of satisfaction, which does not last long (This is good in a way, because once the satisfaction of an achievement dies down you want to achieve more and that is what we call progress. Our achievements also tend to have a net positive impact on the people around us). Happiness on the other hand is a state of mind, which the fickle human mind tends to associate to seemingly silly things like helping someone out in a problem, being able to share one's grief, sharing a hearty laugh with someone and even accepting a mistake or a blunder you have committed. Why do I think so? Well, if you look at the kind of acts I have described, what we are doing is lifting a load (big or small) off of the other person's mind and that's the definition of happiness for me, when your mind feels light. Mind you, this phenomenon spreads very fast through induction. So, when the other person feels a little happy our mind picks up the notion too and at that moment life seems beautiful!