Listen!

That's what you should do when someone is talking to you - listen, and not just that - listen actively. For otherwise you are wasting time - not just your own, but the speaker's too. It then doesn't matter if the conversation is one-to-one or a speech or lecture or a group discussion. What one gains from these interactions is directly proportional to the intensity of listening. It's wonderful if one likes to talk, because that means one has the opportunity to have many such interactions, but it's equally important to allow others to talk and listen to them if there is to be a net positive from every interaction.

Active listening is probably the best tool for gaining knowledge for an average human being. I say that because it is difficult for everyone to be a voracious reader, that's the domain of scholars. They can easily pick up a book on a topic they want to know about and read through it in one go. Not everyone can do this and not everyone knows about everything too. So, if one is not in the class of voracious readers, one has to look for other avenues of gaining knowledge. More often than not, a person can only be very good at or knowledgeable about one or two topics or subjects and has limitations in all other areas. It can then prove very effective if you can get a person to talk about something you want to know but can't take the efforts on your own. Active listening can get people talking.

When you listen, it shows that you respect the thoughts of the speaker and that you are ready to accept them. The intensity of your listening assures the speaker to go on, give away more information than one is willing to. When one listens it makes the other more comfortable with the expression of his thoughts and to pass on more information than has been asked for. When you concentrate on what is being spoken you understand it many times better than you would if you were to read the same stuff.

And there is more to listening than just being a tool to gain knowledge. One's capacities of listening will determine how many people he conncets with. You may wonder how a seemingly passive activity like listening can determine this, but then who said listening is a passive activity. All you have to show when you listen to someone is that you are interested and people will pour their hearts out. When your eyes glow with delight when somebody shares his happiness with you, or when your face is covered with concern when somebody shares his problem with you, that is active listening. If you show that you care about and appreciate whatever the other person has to say you would have made his day.

Nothing would summarize this article better than what the Thought of the Day calendar (probably the silliest thing I have ever bought, and ironically that is what catches everyone's attention on my desk first) on my desk read today. "You can please more people by listening to them than by talking to them"