Don't Stretch!

Yes, don't strecth too much. Because it hurts, and it hurts really bad. And this is true about every aspect of life I can comprehend of at this point in time. I am just back from a movie titled "Shoot On Sight" which just re-affirmed this truth. And the last two movies I opted for - "Rock On!" and "A Wdnesday" did the same. The aspects of life and the points of view they touched might have been different, but for me all three portrayed this truth.

If "Rock On!" was about how stretching yourself away from your real self, stretching the most important relationships in life almost to the breaking point can destroy the soul of life, then "A Wednesday" was a fictional, but undeniable portrayal of what a common man can resort to when stretched for his patience. "Shoot On Sight" - built on the backdrop of 7/7 London blasts - is again a fictional, but undeniable portrayal of a senior muslim cop who is faced with two sets of people who have stretched their beliefs to two opposite poles. He is faced with a choice between them, but the problem is he can't choose either. You can identify with him - irrespective of whether you are a muslim or not - the same way you can identify with the Mumbaikar in "A Wednesday" (Incidently, both characters get itched in the memory because of Naseeruddin Shah's performance - a coincidence?), irrespective of whether you live in Mumbai or not.

I remember from the science lessons learnt in highschool that as deficiency of essential nutrients like vitamins can hurt the body, so can excessive intake of them. You have to always look for a balance in the diet. If this is is true for the physical health of a human being then same holds true for her mental, emotional, intellectual health also. She needs a balance diet of moral and religious values, faiths, beliefs, emotions and intellect. But an excess of any of these can do equal harm as can the deficiency, and that is the thing to be guarded against, particularly in these trying times.

We live in a world today which is being pulled to various extremes by all kinds of extremists. To me, an extremist is any person who stretches things beyond the healthy limit - in any aspect of life, be it relationships, beliefs, values, behaviors - where it hurts the people around him. The only faith, religion and belief that an extremist follows is that of extremism. We need religions, but religious beliefs can't overide humanity; we need communities, but communal beliefs should not override humanity; we need brilliant individuals to lead people, but no individual can be allowed to overpower humanity.

We say that the world is becoming small every day, getting integrated so closely in this phase of globalization; and yet it seems to be disintegrating at its seam, every day. Do we lack a balance somewhere? Today we have a situation on our hands where there are certain extremist activist groups who are keen on destruction to make an impact, and then there are equally extremist governments who have waged a war aginst these groups and have vowed to destroy them. Amidst all the destruction, the people who have lost the most are those who do not want to identify with either. The situation back home is no different, where the race for power is getting uglier day-by-day. The key issues are swept under the carpet, and the issues which get attention are all manufactured by various players in the game of power. Through all this, the common man has the seemingly impossible job of strikning a balance in his life and he will have to suceed for that is the only hope for survival of humanity.

At the end, a question that keeps popping up in my mind is probably asked in the most profound way in these lines penned by Javedsaab.

Ishwar Allah Tere Jahan Mein, Nafrat Kyon Hai Jung Hai Kyon

Tera Dil To Itna Bada Hai, Insaan Ka Dil Tang Hai Kyon

Kadam Kadam Par Sarhad Kyon Hai, Saari Zameen Jo Teri Hai

Sooraj Ke Phere Karati Hai, Phir Kyon Itni Andheri Hai

Is Duniya Ke Daaman Par, Insaan Ke Lahoo Ka Rang Hai Kyon

Goonj Rahi Kitni Cheekhein, Pyaar Ki Baatein Kaun Sunein

Toot Rahe Hain Kitne Sapne, Inke Tukde Kaun Chunien

Dil Ke Darwaazon Par Taaley, Taalon Par Ye Jang Hai Kyon

Who is John Galt?

He is every one of us who believes in creation, ingenuity, thought, reason, value, workmanship - in essence, who chooses to be a human. After all, don't all these attributes contribute to the "humanness" of a human being? The answer is of course, Yes. After reading Atlas Shrugged the answer has got so well ingrained in my mind, I don't think anything will ever be able to cast a shadow of uncertainty on it.

I have to thank the anonymous reader who recommended it while commenting on one of my older posts. Reading the book is such a blissful experience. Ayn Rand presents the true human values with such clarity and with a multitude of characters that probably sums up the various kinds of people around us. As you read the book and think about the situations unfolding, you can't escape noticing the resemblance they have to the world around. The contexts may vary, but the way people behave in those situations is very similar to the way Rand's characters behave. And I think that is the reason the book grips the mind of its reader. It is a work of fiction, and yet it is so real.

I don't think I have ever thought about my workplace and the people I work with so much as I did while I was reading the book. The situation there is no different. We have those select few who give it their all to make a project successful, without ever thinking about what they are going to gain. Then there are those who always think about how best can they use the success of the project, just by sticking to the real hard workers. Then again there are a few who don't care about the project, don't want to put even the effort of sticking to the propellers, but yet want to reap the rewards. There are a few leaders who will take the credit of every success, and blame the failure on the team and avoid any kind of responsibility. There are few more categories people will fit into. What's interesting is their thought processes match to at least one character in Atlas Shrugged.

As Rand says in the book, life is a matter of choices. What differentiates man from the other animals is his ability to think, but to exercise this ability is a choice every man has to make. Also, to what extent he exercises it will determine the heights he will achieve. So, on one extreme we will have someone who chooses to think and reason, act on his thoughts and do so without exception never letting his decision be based on anything but reason. He will be perfectly in peace with his mind, probably the kind that is described in the Gita and can be achieved by the way of Karma. On the other extreme we will have someone who chooses not to think at all thereby resigning completely to external forces, always in confusion and acting on the other person's reason, thereby never at peace with his mind. Always living in a state of denial, such a man will eventually bring his own downfall.

All of us lie somewhere between these two extremes. Which way we want to move is again a matter of individual choice!

Keep It Simple!

I have this friend in office who I have my evening snacks with - daily - except in unavidable circumstances. We met and became friends during the TCS training in HYD. She is one of the few girls I know, who have the capacity of "Level Headed" thinking i.e. thinking without involving emotions - something very difficult for women due to their inherently higher emotional quotient (no offense meant - this higher EQ is what makes women better at relations than men). I think this is the quality that makes our conversations interesting. Otherwise, we are so different as personalities, it would be difficult for a third person to believe that we connect so well!

Well, the topics of our conversations vary from the routine office work to issues on the personal front to our philosophies of life. Today's topic was particularly interesting - although it lasted only for 10 minutes as we had to rush back to our respective desks. The reason our conversation switched to this topic was a phone call I got from a colleague. This guy is severely undecided over a particular matter - not important to mention here. The call just prompted me to ask the question - why do people make matters complicated for themselves? And her reply was very sound.

People just don't want to take any decisions. They do not want to take a decision only to think later that the other option would have been better. That's why they run from pole to post seeking opinions, hoping to meet the person who will take the decision for them. That way, you can at least blame the person who suggested the option in the event it does not work out for you. Smart thinking, eh! Is this the way to secure your life from all the uncertainities that surround it? No wonder, retail investors lose the maximum amount of money when the stock markets fall.

Of course, you can't deny the fact that life is full of uncertainties. But then it is your responsibility to secure and safeguard it against them, not the other guy's - because he is too engrossed in securing his life! So, it's quite likely that you will be doomed, should you decide to depend on the other guy (or guys for that matter). I feel, the best option every human being has is to decide the course of his life and then stand by the decision - come what may. This way - wherever you end - you can at least be at peace that the decisions were yours, the path - chosen by you. This way - I think - triumph will be sweeter and failure will not hurt. Because when you decide to take the ownership of your life, no failure remains capable enough to cause a degree of pain that will defy the sense of pride filled in your heart.

And once life is secured against the pain caused by the sense of helplessness, all that should remain is joy. Sheer joy. The joy of living - on your own terms. Do they tell anything different in "Art of Living"? I don't know and I don't care!

Frustration - the buzzword

Well, if the title surprised you or shocked you or even got you worried a bit about me, let me clarify I am not frustrated at all. It is just that I get to hear this word more often than not these days. Almost every conversation I have these days with my colleagues in the office tends to end up in tales of frustration and disillusion the other person is facing. I wonder where the source of all this frustration lies!

As far as I can see - and from whatever I get to listen to almost everyday - the sole reason for this frustration is expectations. And in typical Indian fashion we tend to have too many - from everything in our life, rather from life itself. The best example for this has to be our beloved Indian cricket team. The expectations of people from this bunch of 16 guys (and few more who keep popping in and out) reach the sky when they defeat teams like Scotland or Bangladesh, and come shattering down when the perform poorly at an event e.g. the last Word Cup. Why can't we keep it simple and let the team enjoy the game. I agree that winning matters, but does that mean that these players should be crucified when they lose? The point is, when this team performs well, it will win and when it does not, it stands to lose (unless luck is on its side). If we all accept this simple fact, we will all be at peace (including the players) and all the energy that gets wasted as anger and frustration on this matter can well be put to some constructive use. Anyway, how is the frustration of a billion people going to help the team improve its performance?

So, the crunch of the matter is - keep your expectations realistic and you will be happy. This applies to pretty much everything we get frustrated with - career, relationships, money and everything else you can think of. The best thing to follow would be, what is described as Karmayoga (a way to achieve Moksha) in the Gita - Do your job with perfection, but without getting too involved and do not expect anything in return. I know that everyone can not follow this philosophy, but we can go pretty close by keeping our expectations of returns from all kinds of investments very realistic and being patient with everything in life. I have been trying to follow the same, because I am not here to achieve Moksha (I don't even know if that state exists) and I am sure not a single person on the face of this earth is either. It will be almost impossible to find a person in today's world who does not expect anything in return of whatever he does - and I am afraid that is the necessary (but not sufficient) condition for Moksha as per Gita. So, again I am keeping my expectations realistic and not aiming for Moksha. If it happens - well and good - but if it does not, I won't be disappointed.

The bottom line is - I want to be happy in my life, may be much more than I am today - and I am sure everyone does. But I have realised that happiness is not attached to anything in the real world (and I have seen a few examples of that) i.e. thing we want to own or achieve. Our brain attaches them to happiness, because it has been conditioned to think that way through the perceptions of outer world over the years. Achievements in life can only be a source of satisfaction, which does not last long (This is good in a way, because once the satisfaction of an achievement dies down you want to achieve more and that is what we call progress. Our achievements also tend to have a net positive impact on the people around us). Happiness on the other hand is a state of mind, which the fickle human mind tends to associate to seemingly silly things like helping someone out in a problem, being able to share one's grief, sharing a hearty laugh with someone and even accepting a mistake or a blunder you have committed. Why do I think so? Well, if you look at the kind of acts I have described, what we are doing is lifting a load (big or small) off of the other person's mind and that's the definition of happiness for me, when your mind feels light. Mind you, this phenomenon spreads very fast through induction. So, when the other person feels a little happy our mind picks up the notion too and at that moment life seems beautiful!