Baba!

Father - That's what the word means to many children in India, including me. I don't know what prompted me to write about him, probably his 64th birthday on 2nd of February!

What should I write? It is very difficult for a person with limited writing abilities like me to describe my feelings for him. There are a lot of emotions in my mind right now, too many to describe. Whenever I sit back and think about him, my mind fills with a pride, for he is wonderfully likable. He has the uncanny knack of finding a soft spot in the toughtest of cookies, a fine example of which would be his relationship with my Grandfather. It was very difficult to get into the good books of my Grandpa, forget maintaining your place there and yet Baba was always at the top pf it. I never heard my Grandpa complain about him, in fact he was always all praise!

I wonder how he manages to be so likable, to make happy every person he is connceted with, knowing well that there is hardly any chance that the favour will be returned. And I think that's just the essence of it. Baba is always ready to help anyone who know him or asks him. All his gestures are very natural, nothing artificial or fabricated, just to earn a few brownie points. He helps people because he likes to, not because he will later be able to ask for favour in return. Baba may not have earned huge loads of money, but the goodwill that he has earned over the years is keeping him in good stead, and I am sure will continue to do so.

I will not put Baba in the highly educated class, because all he has to show for a degree is a part-time BA. But degrees can't buy wisdom, it has to be present in the system. Testimony to the fact are some far sighted decisions he has taken for us, his family. These decisions gave his three sons the leeway to take more risks than he could, to achieve things he could not. He is open to new ideas, which makes him a good listener and quick learner - qualitites which helped him make an immense impression in his 35 years of service. He can be a calming influence in chaotic situations, for come what may - he won't panic. He is not a control-freak and allows people to make decisions and work the way they want to, just watching from a distance - quality of a good leader, which he was at his workplace, but never had a title to that effect. He has allowed us to choose what we wanted to do with our lives and stood behind all our decisions, for he is supremely confident of the three of us and knows that we live by his values!

Finally, I know that I have troubled him a lot (probably the most) - knowingly and unknowingly - without being scolded for once. I have many such situations, which I won't cite here, for they are the constant reminder of his importance to me. It is getting too late now and I must sleep as I have to resume work at the office in the morning. My workplace is a lot different than Baba's, but his methods still work!!!

Why we are the way we are!

The focus of this article will be a book I finished reading a couple of hours back, although the thoughts are really an amalgamation of four books I have read recently - The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, The Bhagavadgita by S. Radhakrishnan, The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen and Games Indians Play by V. Raghunathan, the book in focus here. These books have given me - iff I dare say so - a very good, if not thorough understanding of why people - specifically we Indians - behave the way do in certain situations. In fact, the book by Raghunathan very effectively explains why we are the way we are!

Raghunathan uses the concepts in Game Theory, prisoner's dilemma and iterative or multi player prisoner's dilemma - the latter being applicable to many real life situations we encounter - to explain the Indianness of us Indians. And what is this Indianness? It is our utter selfishness, our tendency to free ride, our tendency to maximize individual gains at the cost of others' losses, our tolerance towards injustice, corruption & unfair behaviour, our habit of blaming or pointing fingers to others for anything that goes wrong, our ability to talk a lot and inability to act - the list goes on! And yes, we can also be adamant enough not to accept all this or intelligent enough to rationalize this behaviour. You may not believe me, but Raghunathan will make you realize all this using proven tools.

If you have read about Prisoner's Dilemma (PD), you will know that the best solution to it is when both players choose to cooperate. That is the solution which will keep their losses at the minimum, but rational people will sometimes fail to see this! We have very few interactions of this kind in real life though. Real life situations involve many people continuously interacting with many others and that is where the Iterative PD comes in picture. That means one has to decide whether to cooperate with the other or not every time the two are involved in a transaction (which could be as simple as greeting each other), keeping in mind that this situation may occur many times afterwards. This is where one's character comes in play. The best thing to do in this context also, is to continue to cooperate forever and maximise the collective gains instead of giving in to the temptation of short term gains at the cost of hurting the relationship. And it is the latter that we Indians choose to show at all quarters in life owing to the qualities listed below.

We are among the most intelligent people on this planet, yet we fail to recognize the fact that defecting for a small short term gain will hurt our own future. And, we tend to do this a lot more as compared to quite a few communities from both the western and the eastern worlds. We also use our intelligence to work around all the systems we establish for collective good and make them ineffective, instead of concentrating our efforts on maintaining them. At times, our actions are motivated by our desires and sometimes contradict with our duty, yet we do not see anything wrong in them. This book will tell you why we fail to do the right thing, even though we are so intelligent. I feel, every Indian ought to read this and introspect on what needs to be done if we want to see a developed India.

I mentioned three other books at the beginning of this article. Let me establish the connection. The Argumentative Indian has helped me understand the ability of us Indians to argument. Amartya Sen gives a wonderful historical account of our argumentative tradition and shows how it helped India to develop as a secular society, where people with varied faiths and beliefs were allowed to live peacefully. He explains what drives our thinking and does not fail to mention the importance of keeping an open attitude towards the thoughts of others. Had I not read that book before reading Raghunathan's book, I would probably have not accepted his criticism of us Indians so easily. The connect with The Fountainhead is established when Raghunathan shows the importance of making objective decisions i.e ask yourself "am I doing the right thing" before you take any action and act accordingly irrespective of the behaviour of the others. That is what Howard Roark in The Fountainhead is - the epitome of objectivism. Raghunathan also establishes the connection between game theory and the Gita, when he explains how game theory validates the Karmayoga explained in Gita. This book reinforced many of my beliefs formed after reading the Gita.

I have always believed that books have the potential to change the way one thinks. The books I have read have changed my way of thinking steadily over the last couple of years. More thoughts and more books in the posts to follow!

It's Not About the Bike

If you know Lance Armstrong, it will not be difficult to guess what this little snippet will say. This is an attempt to push the readers of this post into reading his autobiography - I won't say review because I do not qualify to be a critic of books!

If you have not heard of Lance or read about him, let me tell you that his is a comeback story beyond the capacity of human imagination. It thrills you, just to think of a guy who came back from the doorstep of death to win seven consecutive editions of Tour De France, probably the most arduous bike (bicycle) race on the face of the earth. Just imagine, a race where 200 cyclists compete over 21 stages, covering 3500 Kilometers of roads in France in all kinds of terrains & weather conditions. And this guy won it for seven consecutive years from 1999 to 2005, as if it was a piece of cake, huh!

And he did this after fighting off Testicular Cancer, which was already in the last stage at the time of diagnosis. Yet, he is not superhuman!

The book starts like any typical autobiography, with the events in Lance's childhood, the sources of all the anger he was filled with, him getting hooked on to Athletics, early achievements in triathlon (involves running, swimming and cycling), and eventually his decision to pursue only cycling. He then describes his entry in professional cycling and early failures - including one at Tour De France. Then comes the rude shock of being diagnosed with cancer and the way he narrates the events, you can actually feel the pain Lance and his family must have been subjected to. You can't help but get inspired by the way he goes through the treatment - cancer being the only disease where the treatment is more painful than the disease itself. And then there's the comeback, the process of getting fit to ride the bike, and then ride it for really long spells at a high cadence. There also comes a stage when he gives up cycling, after going through the frustration of failures in his first attempt at comeback to professional cycling, only to be pulled back into it by a friend who won't give up on him! He describes all this candidly, keeping the reader involved, using a language an average reader will be able to relate to. The book is so fluid in its content, you will want to read on till the last page once you pick it up!

What's noteworthy is Lance's introspection on going through the disease, where he says he learnt a lot from cancer and it changed him for good. He probably would not have achieved success @ the Tour had he not gone through cancer, as it changed both his physical as well as mental make-up. I think it takes some resolve to say that after you have virtually been through hell!

The book gives you an insight on the true value of life. It tells you life is not only for worrying about a 9 to 6 job, a housing loan, marriage, kids and their future and finally retirement! Of course, not all of us can go and compete in the Tour De France, but we can at least find out what matters as much to us!!

Belief

The dictionary says belief is "confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof". Well, here are a few things that - I am confident - do exist.
I believe in myself, perhaps more than I ever did and this belief grows a little everyday.
I believe in people - people I know, I work with, I am related to - in general, people around me. I believe in their ability and so I can trust them - for almost anything.
I believe in patience and in perseverance which helps me focus on my work/duty and forget about everything else.
I believe in God - and yet I don't believe in it - for I think of it as a concept, not something with a physical form. I think of it as the basis of everything that exists, as something that keeps the world order going. I can't restrict it to any of the man-made shrines.
I believe in Love - for I have experienced it through parents, relatives, friends - and yet I am to experience it through that someone, who will be my soul mate for life.
And finally I believe I am going to meet my soul mate - some day very soon!

Frustration - the buzzword

Well, if the title surprised you or shocked you or even got you worried a bit about me, let me clarify I am not frustrated at all. It is just that I get to hear this word more often than not these days. Almost every conversation I have these days with my colleagues in the office tends to end up in tales of frustration and disillusion the other person is facing. I wonder where the source of all this frustration lies!

As far as I can see - and from whatever I get to listen to almost everyday - the sole reason for this frustration is expectations. And in typical Indian fashion we tend to have too many - from everything in our life, rather from life itself. The best example for this has to be our beloved Indian cricket team. The expectations of people from this bunch of 16 guys (and few more who keep popping in and out) reach the sky when they defeat teams like Scotland or Bangladesh, and come shattering down when the perform poorly at an event e.g. the last Word Cup. Why can't we keep it simple and let the team enjoy the game. I agree that winning matters, but does that mean that these players should be crucified when they lose? The point is, when this team performs well, it will win and when it does not, it stands to lose (unless luck is on its side). If we all accept this simple fact, we will all be at peace (including the players) and all the energy that gets wasted as anger and frustration on this matter can well be put to some constructive use. Anyway, how is the frustration of a billion people going to help the team improve its performance?

So, the crunch of the matter is - keep your expectations realistic and you will be happy. This applies to pretty much everything we get frustrated with - career, relationships, money and everything else you can think of. The best thing to follow would be, what is described as Karmayoga (a way to achieve Moksha) in the Gita - Do your job with perfection, but without getting too involved and do not expect anything in return. I know that everyone can not follow this philosophy, but we can go pretty close by keeping our expectations of returns from all kinds of investments very realistic and being patient with everything in life. I have been trying to follow the same, because I am not here to achieve Moksha (I don't even know if that state exists) and I am sure not a single person on the face of this earth is either. It will be almost impossible to find a person in today's world who does not expect anything in return of whatever he does - and I am afraid that is the necessary (but not sufficient) condition for Moksha as per Gita. So, again I am keeping my expectations realistic and not aiming for Moksha. If it happens - well and good - but if it does not, I won't be disappointed.

The bottom line is - I want to be happy in my life, may be much more than I am today - and I am sure everyone does. But I have realised that happiness is not attached to anything in the real world (and I have seen a few examples of that) i.e. thing we want to own or achieve. Our brain attaches them to happiness, because it has been conditioned to think that way through the perceptions of outer world over the years. Achievements in life can only be a source of satisfaction, which does not last long (This is good in a way, because once the satisfaction of an achievement dies down you want to achieve more and that is what we call progress. Our achievements also tend to have a net positive impact on the people around us). Happiness on the other hand is a state of mind, which the fickle human mind tends to associate to seemingly silly things like helping someone out in a problem, being able to share one's grief, sharing a hearty laugh with someone and even accepting a mistake or a blunder you have committed. Why do I think so? Well, if you look at the kind of acts I have described, what we are doing is lifting a load (big or small) off of the other person's mind and that's the definition of happiness for me, when your mind feels light. Mind you, this phenomenon spreads very fast through induction. So, when the other person feels a little happy our mind picks up the notion too and at that moment life seems beautiful!

A Realization

I don't know why this happens, but I would like to know. It seems like yesterday, when I used to see the entire group (or gang or circle of friends - whatever you want to call it) daily and we had so many things to talk about. Today, four years down the line, we hardly have time for each other and hardly anything to share. How did we get so engrossed with our own lives, not to keep track of those with whom we spent most of the day till not too long ago? We could chat endlessly in those days and today, when I call someone the conversations comes to "Aur kya?" or "Ajun kaay?" or "What else?" within 10 minutes (may be even less than that). How did this happen?

Well, the only answer I can provide for this question is that, life always has its say in these matters. It just pulls you away from the closest of freinds or so it seems to me from personal experience. All I can do today is try and keep connected with everyone I consider among my best friends (and I am giving my best efforts). The purist may say here that you don't have to be connected to remain friends if the friendship is true. Well, is it going to hurt that relation should you manage to be always connected, always in sync with each other. I certainly do not think so.

Today, most (rather all) of us are single and yet struggling to find a day out to catch up with old friends (and I found them only in the last 4 years of college life. So, I cherish them the most). So, the realization, that the situation is only going to get difficult from this perspective and all of us are going to get even more engrossed in personal matters, just scares me. And it is this paranoia that stimulates me to act on this situation and keep trying keep up to the pace of the life. (Mind you, it is real fast. I can hardly believe that four years have passed since all of us left the college.)

The bottomline is I want all of us to be connected, real-time. How? I do not know today. The only thing I know is that it will work out, irrespective of the physical distances which have been enforced by life on us.

Hats-off!
Well, that is what we @ TCS follow as an anual ritual to celebrate the achievement of all associates who have reached a milestone in terms of years of service to the organization - the milestones being 3, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 and 35 years. In short, Long Service Awards. And I was lucky to reach the first milestone (I can hardly believe that 3 years have passed!) in the same year in which the CEO of our organization reached his last celebrated milestone (35 incredible years).

I was there on this Monday (3rd September) to witness the CEO being conferred the certificate by Mr. Nauheer Soonawala (a director of TATA Sons) in the presence of Mr. F.C Kohli, the man who started it all. The moment was filled with joy, pride, nostaglia... a heady mix of emotions. And a thought flashed across in my mind - isn't it a moment like this you work for (I certainly do!).

You may be tempted to think that this is an old school thought, and does not hold in today's scenario when there are opportunities abound. You may also think that I am someone who does not believe in his abilities, or fear rejection from the competitor organizations because I am not good enough. Yes, I am a person with limited abilities, but I know where my strengths are. And certainly, I know how to capitalize on my strengths.

So, I was not surprised when some of my juniors asked me the question - "How did you manage to complete three years in one organization (read TCS)?". And, they were even more intrigued by the fact that I am perfectly happy in the organization after this much time! (Personally, I don't think 3 years is a long enough time to get a long service award. But, looking at the attitude of some of my younger colleagues, it does seem like an achievement!).

For me, the answer is simple. If our CEO can manage 35 wonderful years, can't I even manage 3. Comparisons aside, I think it is all about personal choice and how you look at life. If money is the prime mover of you career/life (I don't think there is any difference in these words @ 25), your focus will always be outside - looking for more money. If you make money secondary (not everyone can afford to do this for various reasons, but in my postion I can) and look beyond it, you are bound to find similarities in your and an organization's values. Fortunately for me, I seem to have found my kind of organization n my first attempt. There are things I like about TCS (that's why I am happy here) and then there are others that I don't (and that's why I am here again - to challenge them and change them). So, it works out to be a win-win situation for me.

Moreover, I would rather do a real long-haul, learn everthing I can and leave it, than do 10 short-hauls and end up nowhere. No matter what others have to say, that's my methodology. The cermony I saw on Monday has only boosted it.

Accept the things you can't change, Change the things you can't accept!

The Season of Reunions - "Destination Matheran"
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It was Friday, 9th June 2006. I was just entering the apartment in the evening when my phone rang, and to my surprise I was in a conference with Sheetal, Milind and Mahindra. The agenda was to plan a trip to Matheran for six of us in Mumbai (Sudeep - who had just joined IBM Mumbai after his training in Bangalore - and Vivek being the other two). We decided to gather @ Thane station at 9 AM on Sunday, 11th June. The original plan was to proceed by local train to Neral and then move ahead. But I was guilty of messing it up as I got up late (courtesy of the FIFA World Cup matches) and could only reach Thane @ about 10 o'clock. So, we ended up hiring a Sumo, which in the end proved a good choice.

Matheran is hardly 1.5 hours drive from Thane. The weather on that Sunday was quite pleasant, not too hot after the early monsoon showers . As the Sumo started going upwards on the really steep mountain roads to Matheran, we could feel the cool mountain breeze blowing. Once you reach the top the vehicles have to be parked in the parking space and then you have to either walk to the various points or hire a horse. We, of course, decided to take a walk without worrying about the number of points we visit (Though Mahindra - who was the only person among us to have visited Matheran before - was insisting on visiting some points, we knew that there was no "point" in doing that :-) ).

We started walking along the Toy Train Track - you can catch the Toy Train from Neral - which is closed now for the rainy season. The soil was moist and slippery at places due to the early monsoon showers. And Sheetal was troubled the most by it as she was in high heeled sandals! (God knows what she was thinking while leaving from home :-) ). But kudos to her for completing the trail without breaking her sandal!

We reached the Madhavrao Point (a small garden) after about 1.5 hours, including the breaks for cold drinks, nimbu paani (prepared with mineral water!) etc. Sheetal and Milind spent a few bucks to see some spots in the valley from the "Doorbin". Only the owner of that "Doorbin" knows what exactly he showed them as he was controlling the directions, nevertheless the guys seemed happy after this "sightseeing" session. We spent about 45 minutes there, had a cup of tea and left for the Khandala Point (supposedly the point from which you can see Khandala, we never got to see it!). The view of valley from this point was even more beautiful. It also provided us an oppertunity to shoot a few photos like the one below and we were caught in a passing shower also (It did not last too long :-( ).

At about 3 o'clock we left the Khandala point and started walking back towards the parking place. We took a halt @ a nice restaurant to have lunch and then bought some chikki (Matheran is famous for Chikki and Leather objects) from the market. Around 5:30 in the evening we left Matheran after what had been another wonderful outing. The day is as fresh as the Matheran air in my memories and it is going to stay that way!

The Season of Reunions!

This summer has truly been a season of reunions. I have been a part of three gatherings of TEESA friends in the past couple of months, and needless to say all three days were wonderful.

First, it was the trip to Mhaismal in Abhijeet's WagonR. Six of us, namely- Abhijeet in the driving seat, Sudeep, Anuraj, Mahindra in the luggage space (Kudos to him and Sudeep for fitting themselves there!), Mudit and I had a real good time on the warm afternoon of 15th April 2006. It brought back lots of memories from the 4 years @ GECA. This was probably the first time that even this big a group had got together. And mind you, this was a totally unplanned trip and turned out to be much better than the one we had tried to plan @ the time of Diwali in 2005.

Sudeep was enjoying his post IIM holidays, and Anuraj was going to be there for Good Friday and Easter. Mahendra, Milind and I had a long weekend. Mudit came down to Aurangabad to collect his degree certificate (which I believe, he has not received till date) and I and Sudeep called Abhijeet and persuaded him to come to Aurangabad. And there we were, on Saturday afternoon @ Sudeep's place. We decided to give a visit to the college and found the department deserted because of some seminar. So we left for Lucky, to chill off with Thanda Fresh Fruit Juice.

And I think, the juice got our brains working and we decided to head off for Mhaismal. We enjoyed the sunset there and visited the Balaji temple and chatted about everything from Prof. "Lalu" Gaikwad's style of talking and walking (demonstrated again by Mudit of course) to the Discipline Committee in college gatherings. We re-lived some of those unforgettable moments again.

On the way back, we stopped @ the Fauji Dhaba to have a dinner, for which Milind was supposed to rejoin us. Well, he did and also did Devendra and Manik, a nice surprise! Devendra had come all the way from Bangalore on a week long holiday, and decided to come down to Aurangabad to see us when Milind told him about our plan. It was time for the hostelites to dwell into the hostel days. Courtesy to the poor service @ the dhaba we enjoyed our dinner for more than 2 hours, anyways it was secondary to the talks. It was a wonderful break from the daily Mumbai routine for me, so much that after 2 and a half months I still feel as if it was yesterday!

Next was the trip to Matheran, more about it in my next post.